About

When the wheel of fortune is at the top, why stop at one resolution? If things are going your way, take full advantage. There will always be ups and downs in life, but when things are up, do everything you can so as to mitigate the effects of the down times.

There is nothing like having a cushion of accomplishments to fall back on. The idea of course, is to not have to fall back on anything, but if there are lean times regarding the accomplishment of your goals, at least you will be able to say something for yourself. My adult braces turned out to be less of a spectacle than I thought. Unless I’m flashing a big smile, they really aren’t noticeable. There was one other thing though, that was very noticeable, at least to me. A lazy eye that had bothered me for years was next on the agenda of resolutions that would finally be realized. It looked like surgery was the last option, and for me, it was the last option. This moment was years in the making. Creative visualization, eye exercises, patches-you name it, and I’d tried it. Not that any of those things couldn’t be effective; they just weren’t for me.

At the same time that the dental resolution was being fulfilled, I was setting up appointments with the eye doctor at the Davidorf Eye Group, with Dr. Gellerman, who turned out to be an excellent surgeon. Again, I was using the insurance from work that had set dormant for years. I figured what I had paid for the insurance over the years would more than compensate for whatever procedure, if necessary, would cost. As it turned out, surgery was the only option. Well, I shouldn’t say the only option; I could have left my eye the way it was. Comments about my eye were few and far between. Was it that big a deal? It was to me. At first I felt that the infinite power of the mind had failed me, and I had to skulk into the doctor’s office for a manual fix. Only later did I realize that, not only did the power of the mind not fail me, but it came through with flying colors. Have you ever heard of a book called Psychocybernetics by Maxwell Maltz? He was a plastic surgeon, and wrote about how people were transformed, literally overnight due to his skillful work. Not just in a physical way, but mentally as well. They were just different people, with heightened self-esteem, and a new outlook on life. The point of the book was that those folks could have accomplished their transformations without his help. I have no doubt that he is correct in that assertion, but at the same time, the clock was ticking, and I had a doctor right in front of me that could send my self-esteem through the roof in a matter of hours. That was the route I decided to take.

Just a few weeks after the braces went on, I was at the surgical center, ready to go under the knife. This would be my first (and hopefully last), surgery of any kind. As I sat in the waiting room that morning, my mind was still in failure mode. My all powerful mind had failed me, and this was the last resort. It was a formula for a bad patient. When they finally called me in, over an hour late, I was ready to let the staff have it.
“Wow, I was about to go have lunch,” I said sarcastically to the nurse.
“Oh, okay,” she said calmly. Sounds like she had seen patients like me before. She led me into a large room, with a central desk, and a series of curtains around the perimeter. I was led behind one of the curtains, which had a gurney, a blood pressure monitor, and a chair behind it. Since everyone that could have given me a ride that day had to work, my ride that day was mom. Thanks mom. I was to don a paper gown, along with matching paper socks.
“A little privacy here,” I said. Mom and the nurse stepped outside the curtain. I put on the paper duds and took my place on the gurney. They came back in, and the nurse took my blood pressure. 119/68. Was that good? I think it is, or was, considering what was about to occur. They were going to cut into my eye. I wasn’t through being a bad patient though. I complained that this was supposed to be a private procedure, and had them throw my mother out. The nurse was starting to get a little annoyed.
“I’m not your enemy,” she exclaimed, while she put the I.V. not so softly into my hand. She was right. I was just being a bad patient. A few minutes later, the anesthesiologist came in and offered me a sedative. I declined. This woman really looked like she enjoyed her work though. I didn’t want a shot from her.

After that, the staff left me alone for a while. I started to feel bad about throwing mom out, and when the nurse came back, I told her that mom could come back in-if she wanted. I tried to act like it made no difference to me, but in fact, I did want her to come back. She did, and we had a nice little talk-nothing heavy, just some pleasant conversation until they were ready to wheel me into surgery. Ron, the male nurse, was taking me to my destination. I bid farewell to mom, and Ron took out the curtain and down the hall. It was the most helpless feeling I had ever experienced. My life was in the hands of somebody else now, and I didn’t like it. It was very cold in there, and I was dressed in nothing but paper, and a complete stranger was wheeling my I.V. attached body down the hall. Along the way, Ron stopped at a blanket heater, some kind of machine that heated blankets. He pulled one out and put it over me. That helped a little. Soon after we arrived at the operating room. It was much larger than I had imagined, with a large central space, and large machines around the perimeter of the room. As I was wheeled in, the anesthesiologist came in.
“This is a sedative, it’ll help you relax,” she said, and injected something into the I.V. It felt cold as it made its way into my hand. The doctor was discussing where to place the gurney, and where everyone would be when-relax my ass, that was the knockout shot

The next thing I knew, somebody-I didn’t know who because I couldn’t see, was helping me get dressed. They were done, and I was out the door. The pain was quite severe, and I couldn’t open either eye. Whatever I did with one eye affected the other. For the moment, I was blind. I was helped into the car, and that was it. The surgery was complete most likely. There was the possibility of complications, but at that moment, the only complication was the pain. It was done though. Now it was time for recovery.