people 
No Comments Misery By Association
You’ve heard the term “guilt by association.” But is there such a phenonenon as “misery by association”? This is a condition, that I think I coined, where someone connects their miserable experience to someone else who just happened be around at the time, whether or not that person was responsible or not. Let me give you an example.
Several years ago my brother met a girl. She was very nice, but she had issues. The overriding issue for her at the time was that she had diabetes, and would also be in need of a kidney transplant sometime in the next few years. Well, for my brother, she seemed to be ok at the time.
“She only needs her insulin twice a day-it’s nothing,” he exclaimed. Twice a day? That was something. I told him what little I knew on what diabetes was, considering the advanced stage she was in. I wasn’t trying to break them up; I was just letting him know what he might have to deal with. As ususal, he brushed off what I had to say.
A few months went by before they had their first experience together of what was to become a two-year nightmare. When she forgot to take her insulin, as happens to so many diabetics, her sugar dropped, and she had a siezure. He didn’t know what to that first time, and just held her. After that, he started to find out what to do, and during future seizures (and there were many), he knew to make sure she didn’t swallow her tongue.
Of course he was working during this time and couldn’t be there 24 hours a day, but he always made sure somebody was there. She was angry that he always had somebody there, but he did it for her. He never left her alone. He knew what could happen if she had a seizure and no one was there.
Eventually she started dialysis treatments due to her kidney problems, and combined with the diabetes…She was sick, nearly blind, and on a waiting list for possible surgical relief. That day finally came, and this sick little girl, with the shots, the dialysis, the humiliating shunt she had in her neck, had her kidney transplant.
It was like a miracle. Sure she’ll need to take anti-rejection medication for the rest of her life, but otherwise she is relatively normal. It wasn’t long after her “miracle”, that they broke up. They didn’t get along anymore. The crisis was past, and in my opinion, she saw my brother as part of that horrible crisis. I don’t think she wanted to be reminded of that horrible time, and my brother, although he was helping her, he most likely saved her life several times, was part of that time.
Is there such a thing as misery by association? I think there is…